Things I, as your friend with Chronic Lyme, want you to know--part 2

1. I am capable of talking about things other than my Lyme. And I don't want it to be the first thing you ask me about. Ask me about my puppy. Ask me about boys. Ask me about Pretty Little Liars. Even ask me about the weather if you're really stuck. And then later we can talk about my Lyme. 

2. No, I'm not feeling better yet. Trust me, I will scream it from the rooftops when I am. You will know. But until then, just take my word for it--I'm still sick. 

3. Yes it hurts. Yes that procedure I just told you about is as bad as it sounds. Yes I still feel the pain. No it doesn't get easier, you just get used to it. 

4. Telling me about how great your life is doesn't make me feel better. Yes I'm proud of you and the things you are doing with your life. Yes I am happy about your relationship or your new job. Yes I'm excited for you and everything that you're doing. But I also want you to understand that sometimes it's hard for me. We can talk about it sometimes, but please don't talk about it every second of every day. I don't shove my life down your throat, please don't do it to me either. 

5. If I tell you I can't do something, it's because I really can't do it. I will push myself 99% of the time. But if I tell you I can't, or I need to sit down, or I can't hang out, I really can't. I'm not being lazy. I'm not trying to get out of doing something. I just can't always keep up. No matter how much I wish I could. 

6. It hurts my feelings when you leave me out, or leave me behind. Just because I can't do everything you can do doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. You wouldn't just leave your healthy friend out, so please don't just leave me out because I'm sick. Ask me what I can do with you. Or even just come hang out with me instead. It's not fun to be left in the dust. 

7. I don't need you to always tell me that I'm strong. Because sometimes I'm not. Just because I've been sick for a long time doesn't mean I'm solid all the time. Sometimes I break. And that's okay. I do my best to be strong because it's the only option I'm giving myself, but I want you to know that I'm not always good at it. 

8. Sometimes I just need you to listen. I don't always want advice. Actually most of the time I don't want advice. Chances are I know what I need to do, or why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, or how I can fix the problem. But sometimes I just need to talk about it. Everybody needs someone to listen sometimes. I'm no different. I have doctors to tell me what to do, I don't need it from everyone. 

9. Yes I just took a nap, yes I'm still tired, and yes I'm still going to be able to sleep tonight. My kind of tired is not like normal tired. I'm tired down to my bones. I have to rest after taking a shower. I'm on that level of tired. Please don't tell me I'm lucky I get to take a nap everyday. I would give anything to not have to. 

10. I appreciate you. I don't mean to come across as rude, or needy, or snobby. I tell it how it is because sugar coating my situation doesn't help anyone. But I don't think I'm better than you, or more important than you. I know you have struggles too, and I appreciate you caring about mine. I may not always be the best at expressing it when things get tough, but I do appreciate you.