Pain.

For the last week of this month I'm going to break down the answer to the number one question I get all the time--"how does your Lyme affect you?" 

I never know how to answer that question. 

The first thing I always think to tell people is that I have pain. Not because it's the number one symptom that I experience, but because it's the thing that people understand. It doesn't involve a lot more explanation for people to move on. It's the easiest, quickest answer. 

But what I don't go into when I'm asked about it is the fact that I have pain all day. Every day. No matter what. Laying down. Sitting up. Standing up. Walking. It all hurts. 

My skin hurts. My bones hurt. My muscles hurt. My joints hurt. It hurts where my clothes touch my skin. It hurts where my glasses rest on my ears. It hurts if I sit in one position for too long. It hurts if I move too much. It hurts if my eyes are open. It hurts if my eyes are closed.  

There's no way to escape it. 

Ever. 

I so look forward to the day when I wake up and don't have pain. I look forward to the day when I don't have to plan my day around how badly my body is hurting. I look forward to the day that I lay in my bed at night and don't want to cry because of the pain searing through my body. I look forward to the day when I can say "I made it through the pain." 

But for now I'm going to use that pain. 

I'm going to continue to make sure that everyone in my life is aware of my pain. 

Not because I want sympathy. Not because I want empathy. Not because I want anything from you. But because I want it to be known that my pain comes from something scary, something serious, but something that you can do something about. You can do your best to prevent it for yourself and for the people in your life. You can't guarantee that you won't get Lyme, but you can do your best to keep ticks away. You can't guarantee that they won't bite you, but you can take care of it the right way if they do. You can't guarantee that a doctor will give you the right treatment if you do need it, but if you have read my blog and taken the step to educate yourself, you will know what you need to fight for. You can help yourself. 

I can't get rid of my pain. (I'm starting to think it really likes me--it just won't leave.) 

But I can, and will, use it to do my part in making sure you never have to know what it feels like.