"I wish I got pain medicine..."

First of all, let me clear something up...I don't have pain medicine. I take upwards of twenty pills a day, and not one of them is a pain pill. 

But, if I did have pain meds, it would be for a reason. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean I get pain meds handed to me. That's not how it works. 

And, along the same lines, I've heard "you just want the medicine" as a reason that I go to so many doctors. And, you know what? You're right. I do want the medicine. I want the medicine that fights against the bacteria that is taking over my body. I want the medicine that lowers the pressure in my brain. I want the medicine that helps with the anxiety that comes back with a vengeance every time I have a relapse of a co-infection. I want the medicine that works it's way into my brain in an attempt to help my cognitive symptoms. I want the medicine that helps my heart beat properly. And I want the medicine that helps me sleep when my body and mind won't slow down enough on their own. 

And I, too, wish I got pain meds. Not because I just want the medicine...but because I don't want the pain. 

There's a very big difference.