Letting go of control.

You know what's hard? Letting go of control.

You know what you have to do a lot when you are sick? Let go of control.

You have to let go of the idea that your body is going to look the way you want it to--Lyme wrecks your body, physically. Inside and outside.

You have to let go of the idea that you're going to get everything done in a day. You aren't. You just aren't.

You have to let go of the idea that you are going to be able to keep up with your friends. You aren't like them anymore. They are probably going to leave you because they don't understand that you can't keep up. And you have to let go of being upset about that. It's better that way.

You have to let go of the idea that you can do everything on your own. (This is the hardest one.) You have to let people help you. You have to believe that they actually want to. You have to let go of the fear. You have to breathe.

You have to let go of the idea that your life is going to be how you saw it. You have to also let go of the upset that happens so easily when someone reminds you of the fact that your life isn't how it's "supposed" to be. Your life is how it is. That's all there is to it. And that's all there can be to it right now.

And most importantly, you have to let go of your fear of letting go. It's hard. It's so hard. And I can't sit here right now and tell you how to do it, because I haven't done it. But I can tell you that I'm working on it. And I can tell you that it's important. And if you're working on it and it's a struggle in your world too, you aren't alone.

You can do it. I know you can.