10 more things that I, as your friend with chronic Lyme, want you to know.

I looked back at my blog today to see what my most read post was. The answer was, by far, "10 things that I, as your friend with chronic Lyme, want you to know." I've also done a part 2 to that post. So I thought I would do a part 3 to it, too.

1. Yes, I am still sick. Yes, it has been years. No, it hasn't gone away. I am just as confused about it as you. There is no making sense of it. Yes, I have written this in all three of these posts. It is the number one question I get. It is the number one thing that people talk to me about. So it's the first thing I'm putting on this list.
2. I am scared, but I am not giving up. By any means. This life is crazy, but it's nothing I am giving up on. There is too much good around here. And too many hot doctors that I haven't met yet.
3. I can't just choose a doctor. Choosing a doctor is not just like choosing socks in the morning. Not everyone will treat Lyme. Not everyone believes in Lyme. Finding a doctor is a battle in itself.
4.  Taking medicine makes things worse before it makes things better. Not taking medicine also makes things worse. Telling me that medicine is bad for me also makes things worse.
5.  Yes, I really am tired 100% of the time. Yes, even if I just woke up. Yes, even if I'm lying in my bed. I am tired. All. Of. The. Time. My bones are tired. My brain is tired. My whole body is tired. I will push through it, but it really is so real.
6. If I'm telling you about my Lyme life in real life, I trust you immensely. I share my story here, but I don't talk about it to many people individually. It's a very big part of my life but it's also not everything that I am. I like to keep it separate as much as I can. So if I share it with you--if I let you in--it means I really trust you.
7. My clothes hurt. They really hurt. Anything that touches my skin hurts. If I look put together during the day, it is a big accomplishment.
8. I know that I say thank you a lot. But I mean it every single time. I know that my life is messy. I know that being friends with someone who has Lyme is a lot to handle. But if I'm thanking you, please accept it. Don't blow it off. I really mean what I'm saying to you.
9. I want nothing more in the whole world than to be healthy again. Doubting that is the worst thing you can do to/for me.
10. Above everything else--the pain, the confusion, the fear, the uncertainty, everything--I am grateful. I am so grateful. Being sick for so long, so intensely, has taught me more than I ever could have learned otherwise. And brought me the best people. I am forever grateful for my life. As crazy as that sounds. As crazy as it all is.