Mindful Month--Day 4

Oh boy, I'm not even going to talk about today first because I'm so excited to talk about what tomorrow is--it's that cute! 

Tomorrow, October 4th, is National-Ships-in-Bottles-Day. I know, I know, so cute! And the description I read of the day is even cuter. It said "a day to honor the under-appreciated hobby of building really really small boats." Umm what?! Quite possibly the cutest. I don't own a ship in a bottle. I know nothing about ships in bottles. I don't know anyone who builds ships in bottles, that I know of. But wow. I read that one on the list and I couldn't help but share it with you. Because even though you're probably sitting there thinking "Leigh, you're crazy, national-ships-in-bottles-day is ridiculous" (and even though you're correct), when you think back on your days this mindful month, I bet you're going to remember this one. Even if it's for no other reason that for the fact that it was 1. adorable or 2. ridiculous. Whatever it takes, you'll remember it, positively! And that's what we're going for, right? 

If you can live even a few more of your moments this month in a positive way, then we're doing it right! 

Mindful Month--Day 3

So, did you do it? Did you smile today? I hope so! And I hope that you can truly say that you've lived the first two days of the month, mindfully. 

After I posted my post yesterday I started feeling a little guilty, if we're going to be honest here. I wasn't getting any views on my post. (Not that I write for the views, but I do normally get a couple views pretty quickly, and that tells me that people are at least clicking on my post and seeing what I'm writing.) And I thought maybe my positivity was too much on a day when there were very negative things going on in our country. I felt like maybe I was out of line telling people to smile when there were people across the country who were hurting. And, who am I to be telling people who may be hurting on any given day that they should be happy? But, there's got to be someone staying positive, right? Not that my little blog is going to make any kind of substantial difference. But it's a little piece in a big picture. And, when I woke up this morning to two messages from friends telling me that my blog was a happy way to start their morning, I decided that I didn't need to feel guilty for being positive. So, I pushed aside the little part of me that was considering stopping these posts, and we're moving on to day 3! 

Tomorrow, October 3rd, is Frugal Fun Day. (It's also National Virus Appreciation Day (what?) and World Card Making Day.) I like the ideal of frugal fun day. Remember when I talked about jumping in a puddle?! That counts! Do whatever makes you happy, and don't spend a lot of money (or any money) doing so. And, most importantly--since we're focusing on being mindful and living your moments in a way that you will remember them--do something that you will look back on and say "on October 3rd, I did (insert fun frugal activity here.)" 

And, as you move on to day 3 and beyond, don't forget day 2. Keep smiling. It's a lot easier to be mindful when you remember why you're doing so. It's a lot easier to remember why you're doing so when your head is in the right place. And it's a lot easier to keep your head in the right place when you make a conscious effort to smile. As hard as it may be some days, it's always at least worth it to try. 

Just smile. I know you can do it. 

We're in this mindful month together. 

Mindful Month--Day 2

Welcome back! You've officially made it through one day of our mindful month! It wasn't too bad, was it? It didn't take too much time out of your day to stop and think, did it? Even if the only time you slowed down enough to think about it was while you were reading this blog post, I'll consider that a success! Solid work. I'm proud of you! 

I found out in the middle of the day today, though, that we missed celebrating a very important day today! Besides being National Vegetarian Day, today was also National Black Dog Day! For those of you that don't know, I have a black lab puppy. So, obviously I am going to celebrate him! And, obviously I'm going to include a picture of him for you right now in case you didn't have anything else to make you smile today! See what I mean about these random holidays?! Don't tell me that the opportunity to celebrate a puppy doesn't make you just a tiny bit happier.

Even though I could go on about my puppy probably indefinitely, I will move on to tomorrow's day. Tomorrow, October 2nd, is World Smile Day. This one is, without a doubt, my favorite. There were a couple options for tomorrow; World Smile Day narrowly beat out Name Your Car Day! So, tomorrow, take a few seconds to smile. Smile at someone you pass by on the street. Smile at someone in your class or the person behind you in the lunch line. Smile at someone you work with that you normally would just walk by. Smile at the lady in the window in the bank drive-through even though she didn't smile at you. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Just smile. It takes two seconds, and you never know the difference it can make, as cheesy as that sounds. I don't even mean that in the sense that you don't know the difference it can make in someone else's life. I mean, you don't know the difference it can make in your own. 

Slow down. Take a moment. Live that moment. And just smile. 

Mindful Month.

Hi! Hello! Long time no see! I'm back. No excuses as to why I haven't been here. No stories about where I've been or what I've been doing (read: haven't been doing). Let's just jump right back in, shall we? 

Alright, so tomorrow is the first day of October! It's finally Fall! If you know anything about me, you know I love Fall. I love hoodies. I love the smells of Fall. I love the holidays in Fall. I love how cozy everything feels in Fall. But, if you know anything about me you probably also know that I do my best to find little things that I love all year round. I try to find little reminders of the good things everywhere. And I will be the first to admit that I love the random little holidays that pop up throughout the year--"tell your dog you love him day," "national jump in a puddle day," "eat as much ice cream as you want day." Okay, so maybe I made those three up...but they made you happy, didn't they? You can't tell me that the thought of randomly stopping for a second and telling your dog that you love him doesn't make you smile. And you are probably lying to yourself if you don't think that jumping in a puddle could be fun. And, don't even get me started on the excitement of eating as much ice cream as you want (considering of course your specific lactose needs, since a majority of the people in my life have those--don't go crazy just because it's "eat as much ice cream as you want day" and then blame me for the consequences!) 

But, fun aside, you know what else is cool about these random days that pop up throughout the year? They slow you down. They make you stop and think about the specific day that you are on. The day that you are having. It's so easy to let the days fly by us. It's so easy to let time pass and then look back and realize that we missed it. It's so easy to get stuck in the hubbub and not realize that the days that are going by will never happen again. Ever. 

I'm that person that remembers dates. Before Timehop and Facebook "on this day" memories existed I was the weirdo that would randomly throw out the "three years ago today this happened" fact that no one else remembered. I remember things because things matter to me. I remember things because I fully live in moments. And I'm not saying that to make myself seem better than you. I'm saying that to make you want to live your moments too.

So this month I'm challenging you. 

It's easy to think about October 31st, because that's Halloween. But, by the time you're there, you've missed the first 30 days of the month. And how many times have you stopped and thought about those days as they've gone by? It's so easy to get to the end of the month and think "wow, October is over already!" without even realizing that that was 31 whole days that you could have individually stopped and consciously lived if you would have made the effort to do so. 

So, I've put together a list for you of days that I found for us to celebrate this month. Some of them may seem silly. That's because they are. But, silly still makes you slow down and think. Silly makes you smile. And that in itself is something you may not have done, otherwise. Take that for what its worth. I personally think a smile a day is more than worth it! 

Tomorrow, October 1 is National Vegetarian Day. I'm including this one because I happen to love a couple vegetarians. When I was reading the descriptions of this one, they varied on what this day actually meant. Some said to take this day as a challenge to be a vegetarian for a day. Some said to research the change that vegetarians can make in our world. Some said to hug a vegetarian. So, do with it what you will. I'm simply sharing it with you as the first one because it matters to people I love. And what better way to start your month than with love? If vegetarianism means absolutely nothing in your world, that's okay. Think of something else you love and come back tomorrow!

Actually, come back every day this month! Stay tuned to see what you can do to live your days, and your moments, to their fullest, and to be mindful of every moment you have. 

Let's have a mindful month together! 

"Unemployed."

I was working on some paperwork and something struck me that never really has before--the word "unemployed." 

So many times I've had to check the "unemployed" box or said "nowhere right now" when I'm asked where I'm working. And, I've always thought of it negatively. I'm almost 25, I have a college degree and a certification, I worked for a little while after I graduated college...and now here I am. I'm "unemployed." It doesn't sound like a good thing.

It sounds like I failed. 

But then I started thinking of all the reasons someone could have to check the "unemployed" box. In my case, it's medical reasons. But it could be a number of other things. And who am I to put any negative label on the word for anyone else? And really, why am I even putting a negative label on it for myself? 

Yes, I am at a point in my life where I really expected to be working. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. 

Yes, most other people my age are working. And it's hard to always be the one that's different in that.

Yes, it's hard financially that I'm not working. It's not ideal to be almost 25 and still having to ask my parents for money. I feel guilty every single day about it and wish it were different. 

Yes, I wish I was working. Of course I do. I worked so so hard to get to the point where I had the tools and skills I needed to do exactly what I wanted to do with my life. But I'm not using them right now. I can't. But I will be able to one day. I won't always have to check the "unemployed" box.

And until then, it's okay. 

I'm not working in terms of a job, but I'm working to get better. I'm working on some projects that make me happy. I'm going to classes and working to train my puppy. I'm working on my friendships, my relationships, and myself. And I'm working to spread awareness of the ugly disease that is making me check that "unemployed" box. 

And I truly believe it will all work out. You can't sit and watch your life pass you by and expect it to work out, though. (But you can do what you need to do while you're sitting, I fully support sitting.) You have to keep pushing forward. Reach for what you want your life to be. And believe in yourself.

"Unemployed" doesn't mean hopeless. It's not synonymous with failure. And if it describes you right now--if that's the box you have to check for a while, while things get worked out--that's okay. 

The line--what not to say as someone with Lyme.

I've written quite a few posts about what not to say TO someone with Lyme. I haven't, however, ever touched on what not to say AS a person with Lyme. 

Because, sick or not, there's still a line. 

There's a line between being needy and knowing when you need to ask for help. There's a line between telling your story and putting it onto someone else's shoulders when they haven't asked. And there's a line between helpful and being annoying. 

So...

1. Don't introduce yourself and include the word Lyme. That isn't something you need to announce right off the bat. "Hi, I'm Leigh" is good. "Hi, I'm Leigh and I have Lyme" is not. 

2. Don't drop your story on someone before they ask. Wait until they ask. Not everyone cares. And even if they do care, not everyone knows how to react. It's easier for everyone involved, including yourself, if you wait until you're asked--if you're asked. If they never ask, take it as a good thing. A break from talking about it, and from thinking about it, can do you a lot of good. 

3. Don't make it seem like everything is bad when it isn't. Just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to always be unhappy. Don't hold back your laughter when something is funny. Don't stop smiling. It doesn't make you any less sick, and it doesn't make your struggle any less real. It's okay not to be okay, but it's also okay to be okay. 

4. But, along the same lines, don't say you're okay if you aren't. Take a break. Say you can't go somewhere. Don't say you're okay just because you think you're supposed to. Or because you think that's what people want to hear. You matter. And your truth matters. 

5. Don't try to make it seem like you have it harder than anyone else. Even if you have been sicker longer than someone else, don't make a point of letting them know that. Even if you have had more surgeries or more procedures than them, it's not a competition. Even if you can't do the things you want to do, there is probably something holding them back in their lives too. You have it how you have it. They have it how they have it. It's not your job to compare. 

When it comes down to it, being sick doesn't give you an excuse. Sure, it makes things different for you. 

But it doesn't make you better, sicker, or worse off than everyone else. 

Because, sick or not, there's still a line. 

This body.

I was looking in the mirror today while I was brushing my teeth and I realized something--I love this body. 

I love the head that has caused me everyday, unrelenting, ridiculous pain for the past almost 5 years. That same head is the place my hair--my favorite part of me--grows. And that is nothing I take for granted. Especially after my medicine tried to take that hair from me.

I love the teeth that are yellow from years of antibiotics, and all of the other poison I've put past them. Those same teeth are there when I smile. And I like to smile, smiling's my favorite. (If you read that in your buddy the elf voice, good work.)

I love the chest that is marked with scars from its days working as an entryway for too many medicines, the chest that holds a heart that doesn't always like to work as smoothly as it's supposed to. That same chest holds the heart that allows me to love, to love a lot of things, and to love hard. 

I love the hands that swell up, and hurt, and can't always bend to hold the things I need them to hold. Those same hands allow me to write these words that you're reading. And that makes me happier, and gives me more purpose, than you know. 

I love the legs that don't always hold me up well, the legs that don't always like to participate in the activities that I need them to. Those same legs allow me to get to doctors appointments on my own, they allow me to go for a drive when I need to clear my head, and they allow me to go out and do things when the rest of my body agrees. They keep me moving forward, literally and figuratively. 

I love the brain that forget words, and places, and names, and makes me feel like I'm waking around in a marshmallow. That same brain got me through college, and gave me a reason--a reason to push through this part of my life to get to where I want to be. And that same brain remembers a life before this, a life that I want back. 

I love the eyes that sometimes forget they have a job, the eyes that cause me pain and make the world a little harder to navigate when they aren't working properly. Those same eyes brought me the doctor that cares and believes in me more than any other doctor ever has. Those same eyes allow me to see the beauty in the world around me even when there is no beauty inside of my fight. (Plus they gave me cute glasses!)

I love the mouth that sometimes jumbles my words, and holds a tongue that I'm starting to think is even allergic to itself. That same mouth speaks the words that tell the people around me that I love them, tells the doctors what they need to know to help me, and helps me spread the word about the ugly things this disease can do to you. 

It may not look the way I want it to. It definitely doesn't look the way the world wants it to. It usually doesn't work the way it's supposed to. It hurts. It always hurts. But it's holding itself together. Somehow. Piece by piece. 

And it's mine.

It was mine before it became this way; it was mine before it was taken over. And when this battle is over, it will still be mine. It's been here all along (give or take a little bit of it). And it's seen absolutely everything I've been through. It's beat up, it's scarred, and it's worn down. 

But it's mine. 

And that's pretty cool if you ask me.