"You're too optimistic..."

I've been told by two different friends in the past few weeks that I am "too optimistic."

...too optimistic. What does that even mean? 

The dictionary definition of optimism is as follows...

• a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
• the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world. 
• the belief that goodness pervades reality.

So, lets break this down a little bit. Yes, I am optimistic. I am that one friend that everyone loves to hate because I am always throwing the positive into everything. I am also the friend that everyone hates to love because they know that I'm right and sometimes it's hard to admit that someone else is right when you just want to be upset. (Trust me, I totally understand that part.) But, I haven't always been this way. It's taken a lot of negativity and pessimism, bad news and tough times to make me realize that being pessimistic doesn't get you anywhere. And, I'm not saying that being optimistic always gets you anywhere, either. But, it sure does make you feel better even when you aren't getting anywhere. Wouldn't you rather be stuck in one place while you see the beautiful things around you instead of being stuck in the same place and only worrying about everything that is going wrong in that moment? Yes, you are stuck. Yes, you will still be stuck either way that you look at it. But, I'd rather take that time while I'm stuck to look ahead of me, take in what I'm seeing (because when else do you really truly stop and look around you, except when you're forced to?), and breathe in a deep breath of air just because I can. I could be stuck in the same place thinking about what I'm missing out on while I'm stuck, or how dirty my shoes are getting because they're stuck in the mud, or how much I'm going to have to get done once I become un-stuck. That is definitely an option, and it's an option that is so hard not to fall victim to sometimes. But, in the end, it doesn't change the situation. 

It's all a matter of perspective. 

I'll leave you with this list of examples of my day-to-day choices (because, I'm not naturally optimistic. I don't think anyone is. It's a conscious decision every single minute of every single day to be optimistic) in which I choose to look at the brighter side of things. 

1. I am ridiculously sick. But, I am breathing--I am alive. 
2. I can't work right now. But, I know exactly what I want to do with my life when the time is right for me to work again and it's something I look forward to every single day. 
3. My friends don't understand what I'm going through with my health. But, I have found wonderful, supportive, incredibly understanding Lyme friends who I can't imagine my life without anymore. 
4. I may have days where getting out of bed seems like the most impossible task. But, there is always the chance that tomorrow will be the opposite, and getting out of bed won't seem as hard. And, if that day isn't tomorrow, there will be another tomorrow after that one. 
5. I am exhausted ALL of the time. But, I have caught up on a lot of good shows on Netflix on the days where I can't seem to do anything else. 
6. I spend way too much of my life in the doctors office. But, it gives me an opportunity to spend time with my mom on the way to and from my appointments--time that I may not be spending with her if I were healthy. 
7. Sometimes it's hard, and it hurts, to breathe. (this example is my current situation as we speak (type/read?...I guess we aren't really speaking) ) But, when I wake up tomorrow morning and it doesn't hurt as much anymore, that will be one point for tomorrow already being better than today. 
8. I'm 23 years old and I still live at home. But, I have a home to live in, I have parents who support me and understand (for the most part) that I am doing my best, and there are so many more days of my life that I will spend living on my own. I am not mooching, I am not a bum, I am focused on getting better. I am trying. And, that is okay.
9. Sometimes I get angry--at my Lyme, at myself, at the people around me. But, there is this beautiful thing called forgiveness. And that's something that should never be taken for granted. It's impossible to live a life with an illness if you can't forgive your illness, and yourself, daily. 
10. My brain doesn't always keep up with me anymore. But, I am able to write these words that you are reading right now. I can't do it every day. But, today, I can. And I am thankful for every single day that I can say that. 

And, if that makes me "too optimistic," then I guess I am too optimistic.