Holidays with Lyme

Hi, I'm Leigh, and I am a holiday addict. (Hi Leigh!)

Okay, now that I've gotten that out there, let's have a little chat about Lyme during the holidays. 

Today is December 9th, meaning Christmas is 16 days away. That's 16 days to finish Christmas shopping, wrap all the presents, attend holiday parties...and run the risk of not being able to do any of those things. 

(...wait, what?) 

You see, Christmas shopping involves going into stores with fluorescent lights, lots of different smells, (if those cinnamon pine cones are involved, I might as well stay in the car.) lots of noises, and a semi-uncertain path to the front door if you need to leave to avoid passing out from said sensory overload. The idea of Christmas shopping is one of my favorite things about the holidays--I LOVE giving gifts. But, actually getting through a store is comparable to some sort of cruel and unusual punishment some days. Wrapping all the presents sounds easy enough though, right? Wrong. Sitting in one spot for any amount of time is asking for a joint to lock up or a muscle you didn't even know you had to start hurting. Remembering what you just wrapped long enough to put a tag on it is a whole 'nother obstacle in itself. And don't even get me started on the struggle that is attending holiday parties. There's the thought of having to put on real clothes (aka not yoga pants, sports bras, and sweatshirts--which hurts just thinking about it!) and sitting there in them for however long you manage to stay at the party with your skin feeling like it's actually on fire from the clothes touching it. There's the whole having-to-catch-family-members-up-on-your-life thing, and the gut wrenching feeling that comes along with every time you have to repeat "no, I don't have a job right now." or "no, I'm not healthy yet, but I'm working on it!" And then there's the battle between wanting to eat everything that's there and knowing that you shouldn't because it's not gluten free, there may be dairy in it, and most likely sugar too. And, if you choose to eat it anyway, there's the struggle of the pain (joint pain, stomach pain, headache, random swelling) the next day...and the day after and however long your body decides to be angry at you for that piece of something delicious that you decided to eat. 

BUT...it's not all bad. Like I told you earlier, I am a holiday addict. There is nothing that makes me happier than decorating for any holiday, but especially Christmas. I actually just finished putting up my tree in my bedroom tonight before I started writing this! And, some days, when Lyme hurts and life hurts, coming home and seeing the lights and the smiling snowmen things spread around your house is all it takes to remind you that everything is okay in that moment. Maybe your knee is twice the size it's supposed to be. Maybe your brain feels like it's shaking inside of your head. Maybe the idea of an impending spinal tap is in the back of your mind and you can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard you try. Maybe you can physically feel the Lyme moving through your body, looking for the next place to strike. (All of which is how I feel right now as I'm writing this.) But, if you can take a deep enough breath to push the pain aside for just a second, and if you can slow your brain down long enough to realize the beauty of what you're seeing around you, you have made it one breath closer to being okay again. Every single breath you take is one step closer to being better--one step closer to remission, or even just a break from moving backwards--and during the holidays, all of the shiny, sparkly things sure do make those breaths a little easier.