Merry Christmas!

"'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings and designer love and empty things...just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."

Christmas as a Lymie is so weird. It's good. Definitely good. I'm so thankful for everything that I received today, and everything that I was able to give. But, it's just so strange. You find yourself going through the motions of the day--waking up, opening presents, eating dinner with your family, etc.--but then it stops, and there you are. You're still sick. You're still hurting. And tomorrow is another normal day. No more anticipation for Christmas. The decorations start disappearing. And you're left with these weird feelings of "what now?" and "where do I go from here?" 

It's been like this for the last few years for me. But this year it's hitting especially hard as I sit here with 8 minutes left of Christmas. So, for now, I am going to hold onto the hope that maybe this time next year things will be different. Maybe I will feel better--even just a little bit. Maybe I won't be left with these weird feelings as Christmas comes to a close. Or maybe not. Maybe a year from now I will be writing something very similar. Who knows, really? (If the answer to that question is you, please clue me in.)

Until then, though...Merry Christmas! And, if you are reading this, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey--the good, the bad, and everything in between. I appreciate you.