"It's not easy to have a friend with Lyme"

(Disclaimer: This is not a positive post. If you only want to read the happy, positive, everything-is-going-to-be-okay posts, don't read this one.)

I've been in a lot of situations over the last few years where I have had to cancel plans because my body just wouldn't keep up, or because I developed new random symptoms an hour before I was supposed to be leaving for something. I am fully aware that it makes me seem flighty and unreliable. I understand that it sucks for you, as my friend, when you have to change your plans, as well. I understand that you wanted to hang out. (I obviously wanted to hang out, too, or I wouldn't have said yes in the first place) I understand that it is an inconvenience in your life when I have to back out. I get it. But it's not easy for me either. I don't enjoy having to cancel plans. I don't like to have to say "I'm sorry, I can't make it. I'm extra sick today." for the twentieth time this month. It doesn't make me feel good to know that you now think I'm flighty and unreliable. It's not fun for me, either. You aren't the only one who is inconvenienced by my being sick. 

Trust me, if I could go out all the time like you do, I would do it. If I could make last minute plans and go do something fun, I would do it. If I could follow through with my plans all of the time, you better believe I would do it. I'm not unreliable. I'm not flighty. I could easily say no to everything so that I don't have to cancel, but there ARE times when I can actually do things, and those times mean more than you could possibly understand. 

So, give up on me if you want to. Stop inviting me places if you feel like that's best. Get mad at me when something doesn't work out on my end. That's your prerogative. I would just appreciate a second of consideration first. I don't think that's too much to ask. 

You tell me that it's not easy to have a friend with Lyme. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, it isn't easy BEING the friend with Lyme, either?