Hey Rachel...

Hey Rachel...

I hope wherever you are they have a good wifi connection and you can read this! I hope you've had a good year--free from the pain, the illness, and all the things that this ugly disease brings us. I'm sure you're much happier. I know you are, actually. I know a lot of people miss you here, though. Just from the few times I was lucky enough to talk to you I knew you were something special. But during the past weekend when I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with your beautiful family I learned it a lot more. Your pictures are still up in the hallway. Your towel hook with the "R" on it is still up in the bathroom. Your 16th birthday candle is still in the bag of candles. And they talk about you a lot. They told me over and over that I reminded them of you--that was a pretty cool compliment. They aren't dwelling on your death; they're honoring your life. You have a pretty cool, crazy family. But I know you know that.

I love your sister. She's one of the greatest people in my life. Her friendship has gotten me through things that I don't know if I would have gotten through otherwise. But more than anything, she loves you, Rachel. She loves you and she misses you. But she's stronger now. She's had one hell of a year but she's one hell of a fighter. And I know you're just as proud of her as I am. Keep watching over her and sending her strength.

We talked a lot about you this weekend. Were you eavesdropping? Do you already know that? We talked about the fact that you left us because you were limited by your sick body here on earth. You couldn't do what your soul needed to do. You were held back by your illness and couldn't achieve the things that your big heart and your amazing soul needed to achieve. So you moved on to somewhere that you could make a bigger impact. It's hard for everyone you left behind but as long as they can have that mindset, it makes it a tiny bit easier.

You're truly one of the lucky ones. You are free from the pain and the suffering of this ugly disease. You aren't held back by something out of your control anymore. You are free. Free from the poison that we pump into our bodies. Free from the ongoing doctors appointments. Free from the judgement. Free from all of it. You still have so many people that love you, Rachel. You will never be forgotten.

Fly free. You deserve it.