Last night I considered deleting my blog all together. I had it pulled up and thought about just printing everything so that I didn't lose my work, but also just taking it down because I didn't want it out there anymore. And I almost did it. I was so close to just clicking delete.
See, when I originally started blogging, I thought it would be so helpful--for me, for my Lyme friends, and for the other people in my world who needed more explanation about Lyme. I thought I could just casually write the way I was feeling, or the things that came up, or the thoughts that I had. I thought it would be easy.
I was wrong.
It has turned into way more than that. It has connected me to a lot of people who probably wouldn't have known my story otherwise. It has made my journey more than my own. It has given me support that I wouldn't have gotten without it. The thousands and thousands of views of the things that I have written have made me feel like I'm not alone.
But, it has also made me vulnerable. Having my words--and essentially my heart--right out there, is hard sometimes.
So, I'm not deleting my blog like I almost did last night. But I'm taking a break. I'm taking a break because I need to take care of my heart without it being out there for everyone else to see.
I am taking a break because I need to be selfish for a little while.
And, for once in my life, I think that's okay.
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