Anyway, if you know anything about me (or even if you don't know anything about me other than what you've read on my blog) you know that I think a little deeper into things than the average person...and probably a little deeper into most things than I should. So, when I went to see The Fault in Our Stars this weekend (which was INCREDIBLE, by the way. Seriously, read the book and then go see it!), my brain kicked into high gear and I haven't been able to slow it down since. And, what else would I do with an overflowing brain than let it pour out through my fingers?!
So, here you go...a sick girl review of The Fault in Our Stars.
First of all, I was originally afraid to read the book. I didn't want to be that stereotypical sick girl reading a book about a sick girl. But, clearly, I got over it. And I read the book. Three times. Once because I just wanted to read it, a second time because I wanted to decided exactly how I felt about it, and a third time because I needed to read it. Needed. There was something about it that was incessantly calling my name until I picked the book up again. And, the third time is when it all really came together for me.
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."
Okay, so that was cheesy. But, for real, I am not one to get really into a book. I read sometimes, and I generally like what I'm reading, but this one hit me a little differently. I fell in love not with the characters necessarily, not even with the love story that everyone is so obsessed with, but with the way it made my heart feel--like everything I feel on the daily is legitimate, allowed, and okay.
I guess I should back up and explain for a second in case you haven't read the book. I don't want to give too much away in case you do want to read it (which you should), but I'll give you the general idea. It's a story about a girl with cancer, who falls in love with a boy who also has cancer. He is in remission, she isn't. They genuinely live life while they're together, they go on some adventures, and of them ends up dying at the end of the story (but I'm not going to tell you who, because you should read it!).
So now, after that incredible synopsis of the story, you are probably wondering how it made me feel so validated. And, honestly, I don't have a cut and dry answer for you. But, I can tell you that the tears that were pouring down my face as I watched the movie were probably not the same kind of tears that everyone else in the theatre was crying. I think it's pretty normal to be reduced to a puddle after watching the movie. But, I wasn't crying because someone died. I wasn't crying because they were sick. I was crying because it was so real.
I don't have cancer, but I do live with something very similar--something that sometimes makes going on throughout the day feel next to impossible. I am not on oxygen, but I do have moments/days where breathing seems like the absolute hardest thing on the planet. And, I am not being kept alive by an experimental drug, but I am being kept alive by the nearly twenty pills I take twice, some three times, a day. The story is not my story. It's not anyone's exact story. But, the feelings are real. The good ones and the bad ones. That's another thing that was incredible about this movie; when I wasn't crying, I was laughing. So many times I found myself chuckling because they hit things so spot on, and the jokes they made were perfect. And, when I left, my heart felt full. Full because they made a movie out of something that is the reality of so many people's lives. Full because I was feeling so incredibly grateful for the people in my life--the people who came to my mind along with each character in the movie. Full because every person that watches that movie and chooses to look beyond just the love story will see the reality of life for someone who isn't healthy. Full because that movie was the truth.
Being sick wasn't glamorized. Being sick wasn't made out to be anything that it isn't. Their struggles were realistic. Their happiness was realistic--the fact that not every second of the life of a sick person is miserable was made pretty clear, and that in itself is awesome. And, their sadness was realistic. Their fears were realistic. The ups and downs were all there.
If I could buy movie tickets/the DVD/the book for every single of one you who who is reading this (again, I'm under the assumption that someone is actually still reading this) I would. If you want to do one thing for someone in your life who is living with any kind of chronic illness, or even for someone in your life who is the caretaker of someone living with a chronic illness, you need to see the movie. If you need a pick me up, or a realization of what really matters, you need to see the movie. And, if you have an overabundance of tissues in your house and you need to get rid of an entire box in a short period of time, you need to see the movie.
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