Notice I didn't put "those of us who are sick at Christmas" into the same category as "those of us who are sad at Christmas." The two can go hand in hand, absolutely. Without a doubt. But they don't have to. Just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to be unhappy. And even if you are unhappy, it doesn't have to take away the magic and excitement of Christmas.
But, it's not always easy. It's not easy to hang onto the Christmas spirit when you struggle to get out of bed. It's not easy when Christmas hurts just like every other day. It's not easy to watch your healthy friends go to ugly sweater parties, New Years parties, etc. when you can't. It's not easy to watch people live out their holiday season the way you used to be able to--the way you wish you could.
So, I thought a Lymie's Guide to the Holidays might be helpful. Not just for those of you who have Lyme, but also for those of you who are around someone with Lyme during the holidays.
So, here you go: 5 steps to not only surviving, but enjoying, the holiday season with Lyme.
1. Breathe. The holidays can be overwhelming. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's definitely a true thing. There are a lot of things to do, a lot of people to see, and a lot of things that you are going to feel. You may not be able to keep up. You may feel like you're being left in the dust of the excited chaos of the season. But if you can remember to stop and take a deep breath, you're going to be okay.
2. Allow yourself to be selfish. The holidays are supposed to be a time of giving, so having me tell you to be selfish probably sounds a little weird. But, hear me out. Because, when it comes down to it, allowing yourself to be selfish is a form of giving--giving to yourself. When you're sick, you have to learn to say no. "No, I can't come out tonight." "No, I can't go to the mall with you." "No, I can't go for a walk." And it gets a little old. You want to say yes. But, in order to make it through the holidays, you have to say no. There are so many holiday events. There are so many things to do. But you can't do them all. And that is okay. Be selfish. Say no. Think about the things you really want to do--be it Christmas Day with your family, a dinner out with friends, or whatever is the most important to you, and shoot for those. Give yourself the opportunity to rest so you can get through.
3. Be thankful. If you know anything about me, you know that I am overly thankful and appreciative. But, not everyone is. And that's okay. But, if you haven't taken the time lately to thank the people in your life, what better time to do so than the holidays? Tell the people you love that you love them. Thank them for the things they've done for you. Thank them for sticking around. And, in stopping to think about who and what you are thankful for, you will be reminded how lucky you are. Even on your toughest days.
4. Forgive. Forgive yourself for not having the year that you planned on having. Forgive the people in your life who may have just not gotten it, or the people who have left you behind. And forgive your body. Forgive your bones for forgetting sometimes that their job is to hold you up. Forgive your muscles for getting lazy. Forgive your brain for taking a break and leaving you hanging without words. Forgive your heart for losing its sense of rhythm at times. Forgive the bacteria that has long overstayed it's welcome. Forgiving won't take the troubles away, but it's necessary. Holding a grudge does no one any good. Forgive and move forward.
5. Be mindful. Being mindful means being aware of everything in the moment. Your emotions. The way your body feels. The way your heart feels. The happiness. And even the sadness. Take it all in. And run with it. (Don't really run. This is a Lymie's guide, remember? No actual running here.) This will help you appreciate every second that you possibly can. It may not be easy to get through the holidays when you are sick, but it's possible. And if you make the effort to be mindful, you can say without a doubt that you are doing the best you can.
I hope these ideas helped. And if they didn't help, I hope they at least made you think. If you are reading this and you have Lyme, know that you aren't alone. If you are reading this and you love someone with Lyme, know that you aren't alone either. But also know that your person with Lyme needs you during the holidays more than most other times.
Together, with these steps and everyone's combined efforts, we can enjoy the holidays.
It may seem like it's out of reach. It may be hard to remember what a holiday without Lyme feels like. And it may feel impossible to get into the holidays when things have been so rough.
But, remember, regardless of anything else...
"The bell still rings for those who truly believe." -The Polar Express
